Well, first the good stuff. I had a good run yesterday, even though I was late starting, missed a turn, and ran 2.5 miles too far. I also haven't run all week (see below), so I wasn't sure how I'd do, but once I got the first mile gone, it was like falling off a bike. I estimate I wound up running 10 miles and walking the last 1.5 miles with Amy. Of course today I can barely walk, but it's a good muscle ache in my thighs and calves. Had a good swim this afternoon, except for the part about climbing up out of the water onto dry land.
Now the not so good stuff. For the last couple of weeks, I've been feeling like my life is a handful of peanut butter. Every time I go to get a grip on things, it all squirts out between my fingers. I've been wildly overwhelmed between schoolwork, changes at work, keeping up at home, getting my training in, &c, and for me feeling overwhelmed translates into being paralyzed. So I haven't really been doing anything except what was absolutely necessary, like what somebody was standing in front of me demanding I do. I'm starting to feel better about things, like these elephants really can be eaten, but it's going to require attention and vigilance to keep from falling back into despair.
So tonight I'm going to do an hour of homework. Tomorrow morning I'm going to the gym and to work. Tomorrow I am going to post again. That's far enough ahead for now. Peace, all.
(or how I lost my mind and signed up for the Chicago marathon...)
What I'm currently reading
- Julius Rosenwald biography
- Rise and Shine by Anna Quindlen
4 comments:
Having that feeling of being paralyzed means you are a perfectionist. If you can't do it perfectly, just don't do it. I know, because I am the same way! That is why my house always needs cleaning, etc. I would rather do nothing than halfway do it!
We have to organize and plan our day to complete tasks in order to get anything done. ( For me, organization is a completely different problem).
Hang in there. We can overcome!!!
Jana
Wow, you sure hit a note with your description...exactly how I have been feeling lately. I love the peanut butter analogy...we shall overcome!
I THINK ITS JUST ALL THIS "STUFF" THAT MARK TALKS ABOUT ( HOW DID HE GET SO SMART), JUST HAVE TO WORK THROUGH IT ALL
I KEPT LOOKING FOR YOU SATURDAY AND WAS GLAD TO SEE YOU WHEN I DID,,
BLESS YOUR HEART YOU DID EXTRA SATURDAY! BUT GOOD FOR YOU ALSO,,
HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEK, SOMETIMES WHEN I FEEL LIKE IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT, I JUST GO IN A QUITE ROOM, BREATH REALLY DEEP COUPLE OF TIMES, AND THINK, THIS WILL NOT BEAT ME,, IM STRONGER THAN THIS, YOU ARE STRONG, YOU WILL BE BETTER, AND WE ARE ALL GOING TO BE MARATHONERS!
You can do it, Mary. You're such an inspiration to others (especially me). It amazes me that you even have peanut butter times, since you always seem so positive, so together. I believe that you are, in fact, human. Know that we all have weeks like this, months sometimes. I did at the beginning. All it took for me was having one really good, productive day (whether work, school, exercise, whatever), and my attitude turned around. It was a reminder that I really can do this, all I have to do is start. I KNOW you can do it.
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